By Andrew Omari

So you’ve been laid off? Haven’t found work? Waking up in the mid afternoon waiting for that magic e-mail to arrive in your in-box requesting that you come in for an interview? Well, this is for you. It goes without saying that you reap what you sow. Well, you therefore will never reap what you never sow. Since there are tons of guides on how to find a job, and what steps you can take to polish your resume, network, join associations and network some more, I felt that I would approach the subject from a completely different perspective. Here are the 5 things you can do to guarantee you never get a job, in no particular order.

1. Do nothing. I mean nothing.

My favorite. Wake up. Pick up the Wii remote. Order some Pizza (or ask mom to). Such is the life of luxury for the unemployed. No effort, no responsibilities, and no pressure. Clearly, you should take advantage of the fact that a job, career or your own business is not just going to magically appear in your lap. I should also warn you that no, you aren’t Neo, and you are not in the Matrix. So go ahead, sit there on the computer, Facebook all day, work on your Farmville farm, “tweet” about how you don’t have a job, and join your unemployed peers in mass despair over your unemployment. Wake up at noon everyday. Don’t brush off your resume. Don’t sign up for job sites. Don’t talk with friends. Don’t try to network. Just do nothing.

2. Don’t let anyone know you are looking for a job

Your friends, they should all think you are still working at your last job. They don’t have to know, do they? Don’t update your LinkedIn profile, and the world will never know you are sitting at home enjoying Curbed Your Enthusiasm. No one is going to hire you if they don’t know you are looking. So it goes without saying that if you don’t let anyone know you are in the market, you probably won’t receive any interviews or offers. Better yet, if you don’t use your network of family, friends and ex-colleagues, you’ll have no way of your network for potential job leads. Sure, most jobs don’t even make it to job boards like Monster or Hotjobs, because, just like you look to friends, families and people you are familiar with to, so do potential employers. But you don’t care about that. So don’t even think about brushing off that business card, breaking out that suit, and working on that handshake. You should be working on your form for Guitar hero.

3. “The world is falling, woe is me.”

The Apocalypse might as well be occurring tomorrow, and you might as well just make sure the world knows. While your at it, wear black wherever you go, smell like cigarettes, and carry around your flask of the scotch you’ve taken from your father’s Another great way to ensure you , is sulk in your own despair, constantly. It’s a no brainer that will love your attitude , so by constantly, they will be first in line to help. Don’t carry a bright, positive attitude, and people won’t to recommend you or help you in your search.

4. “To Whom It May Concern…”

To whom it may concern. Dear recruiter. I am highly interested in your organization. I would love to work with such great people. I’m a business person. My qualifications are ideal for your company. Blah. Blah. Blah. So, if you think this sounds great now, try reading the same generic wording over and over again. Your average recruiter or HR representative will probably go through hundreds of resume to fill a single position. So why stand out? Why separate yourself from the pack with a unique resume, a catchy introduction or non-generic words? Why stop the reader from placing your resume where all the other went? Just go with the pack. Don’t stand out. I guarantee you will also be getting a generic letter back from said HR department that goes something like this: “while your credentials impressive, we unfortunately cannot offer you a position at the moment.” Frame it. You have just succeeded in not getting hired.

5. After your done reading this article, go read more articles.

Yeah, you read that. That’s right. Keep reading more articles. Because we all know, reading more articles will fill your brain to the tipping point, at which point it will either (a) force your body to actually act out on the words you just read and do something or (b) cause you to hibernate. Most likely (b). So go ahead, hibernate, I’ll see you next Spring.

Did you like the satirical flavor of this article? You can find much more at Exhired.com, a blog featuring the lighter side of unemployment, as well as news, resources and great offers for job-seekers, unsatisfied employees, and entrepreneurs.

Andrew Omari is the editor of Exhired (http://www.exhired.com), a blog featuring the lighter side of unemployment, with stories, tips and resources for making your work life, well, bearable. Visit http://www.exhired.com today.

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By H Hugo

If you have become unemployed, retrenched or laid off recently there are steps you should take immediately to protect yourself and your family.

• Make all your family members aware of the fact that you are unemployed and their source of income has been affected and that they need to consider any expenditure carefully. Work as a team and make an adventure of doing whatever is required to keep the family together.
• Immediately apply for whatever government, social service unemployment benefits you are entitled to. The bureaucracy involved can be very time consuming so the sooner you apply the sooner you will get your benefits.
• Make use of whatever government or other employment services are available. Get your name down on their lists and follow up regularly to make sure they know who you are.
• Assess your personal budget and decide what is essential and what expenditure can be trimmed and take action to do this. For instance do you need a gym membership or could you exercise in the park.
• Make an inventory of your skills and put together a CV which emphasizes your skills.
• Be proactive in sending your CV to the companies that you would like to work for. Include a covering letter that says why you would like to work for that company, emphasize what skills you can offer them.
• Start doing whatever you can to bring in an income. By staying active and doing something positive you will avoid becoming depressed.
• Take time out to decide what it is you would really like to do with your life. Maybe this is the time you could change your career and follow a different path.
• Use whatever resources are available in your community to network with people who might be able to assist you in finding employment. Talk to people at the library, church, wherever.
• Consider becoming self employed. What skills or assets do you have that you could turn into an income? Use the family van to do deliveries for a local store. Offer painting or gardening services in the neighborhood. Use your computer for an internet business.

Whatever else you do stay positive and proactive. Unemployment is not the end of the road. The worst thing you can do is allow yourself to slip into inactivity and become depressed.

There are employment opportunities for those who actively look for them or for those who make their own opportunities.

Unemployed, Retrenched, Retired – Whatever your reason for needing to earn extra money or a complete income, the internet offers you a low cost way of becoming self employed immediately. You will find an income solution that you can start today at http://www.get-working.com/ It works for me and I am sure that you will find it can work for you. Get Working Today and enjoy the benefits of working for Yourself.

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By Richard Wilkinson

You’ve done the hard part, secured an interview. This proves that your cv was well written and presented professionally. It impressed the recruiters so much they have invited you for an interview. Many people fail at the interview stage because they don’t do the basic things required to give a good account of themselves at an interview. Dressing well for an interview is essential in helping you to create a good professional impression. Someone who turns up in a nice suit is going to make a better impression than someone who turns up in a pair of combat pants and a tee shirt. Here’s a few tips to ensure your attire doesn’t let you down.

• Regardless of what the dress code for the organization is dress conservative. Finding out what the dress code is should be a part of your research. Visit the company and see what people are wearing.

• Your hair should be well groomed and your finger nails trimmed and clean.

• Keep the aftershave and perfume low key. If you have to wear it, use just a hint. Over powering perfume or aftershave does not go down well.

• Limit your jewellery. If you walk in covered in gold like Mr T, don’t be surprised if you are rejected. No jewellery is better than cheap jewellery. Remember the company is looking to hire someone for their professionalism, someone who will represent them, you need to look professional.

• Women should wear a dark blue or neutral coloured suit.

• Men should wear a conservative suit with a belt with a good quality shirt.

• Body piercings should be removed for the interview. Apart from earrings for women. For men? If it’s a corporate job you are applying for, then men’s earrings are out.

• If you have tattoos, then cover them up. You maybe a biker in your spare time and are proud of your tattoos but there’s a time and place to show them and an interview is not the place.

You have to play the interview like a game. Like an actor’s rehearsal. You need to dress for the part. You may complain that people shouldn’t judge by appearance, that it’s a shallow way to make judgments about people. I agree it is, unfortunately impressions count, whether we like it or not we all make snap judgments about people from their appearance. If you are applying for a position at a company, that company has the right to demand that you dress in a certain way. If you are not happy with the requirements of the company then don’t apply for the position.

Richard is a freelance writer and author. He specializes in self development and writes extensively on techniques people can employ to secure the job of their dreams and reach their full potential in their careers. He is the author of the website http://www.samurairesume.com where he posts articles and advice on job seeking.

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By Corinne Stuart

After a career break you may choose to move down a couple of rungs on the career ladder.

You may choose to opt for a job that is less well paid but less stressful for a better work life balance.

In the current economic climate it may be wise to look for an alternative to your previous employment if that market has been particularly hit by the recession.

You need to think carefully about how you market yourself if you are “downsizing” or moving into a new field.
How much do you need to earn and what is the typical salary for the job?

Look at recruitment company websites who operate in the field you are investigating. Some industry job sites publish salary checkers which give you a feel for what is a good rate of pay and what’s not. Talk to anyone you know in that industry to find out who are the best payers. There’s always one cheapskate in every industry.

Follow your dream
If you’ve made the decision to downsize then this is the opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted to do. It may require you to retrain so careful thought needs to be given to financing but see it as an investment in yourself and your long term happiness. After all, you’re worth it.

Test the water
If you’re not sure whether you are going to like this new path, why not volunteer in your chosen area or offer your services free of charge to an employer as job experience? Many employers need all the help they can get at the moment and if it costs them nothing what do they have to lose?

Change your CV
If an employer thinks you’re over qualified for a position they will see you as a risk. They risk that you will see this job as nothing more than a stop gap and move on once something better comes along with all the associated expense for the employer in terms of time and recruitment costs. Read the job description carefully, emphasise the match to your skills and experience and how you can benefit the employer but go easy on the glittering career bit.

Fishing in a bigger pool
A big plus for downsizers is that you do tend to be fishing in a bigger pool of opportunities. There are more openings available the lower you move down the pyramid.

Write a compelling cover letter
You would be amazed at how few people bother with a cover letter but it enables you to sell yourself to the employer before they have even looked at your CV. A compelling cover letter will paint a picture of you for the prospective employer and help your CV and application stand out from what may be dozens of others. It will help you get the interview.

Be flexible
In your ideas and approach. Make it easy for an employer to see you as an asset.

If you’re downsizing because there really isn’t anything else at the level where you feel you should be and you’ve exhausted all lines of enquiry then think positively. See this as a stepping stone to where you want to be. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the job or do well does it? We can’t always have the life we would choose but we can choose how we feel about it.

Corinne Stuart is the founder of The Confidence Hub at http://www.theconfidencehub.co.uk a UK based website dedicated to helping you return to work in today’s tough job market.

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By Saira A Varawalla

There are hundreds and thousands of job search engines on the World Wide Web today. There are tons of classifieds online, e-papers and job portals which have hundreds of companies posting their requirements. However, job hunting is easier said than done. It is the unemployed only that feel the stress when they are looking for a job.

Some of the best job search engines today are Monster, Dice, LinkUp and Career Builder. These sites have massive databases where they store their clients’ information. The basic function of a site like that is to bring the employers and the employees together. A job seeker must register with these sites and provide all the necessary details with regard to his work profile and his academic background. Employers who are looking for candidates will be able to sift through this vast database and fish out and contact the candidates they need.

Job seekers too have access to company profiles and their requirements and can directly contact these companies with their information. Usually these search engines are free for candidates to enroll. However, employers have to pay a fee for the database of resumes.

So if you are a job seeker and are desperately looking for a job, the internet is an excellent place to start. All you really have to do is get yourself a program that will allow you to search through all the classifieds and job sites on the internet at one time and will let you know when there is some new gig that is meant for you.

Find a job through the internet!

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By Paul Tooley

There are tons of reasons a person would want to change careers after 40, after all we probably started our current career as a fresh faced youth who knew less than most 40-year-old plus individuals have forgotten. We plowed headlong into it and now we find that it has lost its luster, or we realize we were never cut out for our present career in the first place. Maybe we’ve been laid off; career change is forced on us, or perhaps we have just grown bone weary of the daily grind that seems to get us nowhere. What ever the reason we are at a point in life where we’d like to change careers. Career change options seem more difficult the older we get, after all we probably will have to be retrained and perhaps we will have to accept an entry level position in our new career and can we afford that?

Career change options: Self Employment

“Whoa”, I can hear you say. “Not so fast!” But I am serious. If you take a good look at yourself isn’t it true that you would like to have been your own boss all along? Think about it. Whatever career you have had as an employee has been essentially to further the success and prosperity of your boss and the owners of the company. You have been what they leverage their success and wealth on. Why not work for your own success and prosperity for a change.

But what how would I start a company or business with the money I make?

That is a good question that also is implies another question and that is, “How can I be financially safe and secure while trying to start a business?” You must find a business that you can own out right. One in which you call all of the shots and it must have the following features.

• very low start up cost
• the ability to start it while you still hold your current employment
• the ability to grow it while you’re still employed
• the potential to support your family and even grow beyond that

If you could find such a business, you could start it at very low cost and grow it until it was ready to support you and your family. Then you could say to your boss, “You can take this job and shove it…” But is such a business opportunity available anywhere?

Career options: Affiliate Marketing

The answer is yes and it makes the idea of a career change after 40 very conceivable if you really want it. This is a business that you can start up for next to nothing and grow it in your spare time. Forget everything you have heard about get-rich-quick schemes with affiliate marketing. Those schemes belong in the trash. I am talking about treating it as an actual business and being prepared to work at it just like you would any career. Believe me when I tell you that some individuals do become very financially secure doing this. Another great feature of this type of self-employment is portability. You can work anywhere you can connect to the Internet.

But don’t I need to be some kind of IT guy?

No, in many cases people and companies provide websites for you to send traffic to and if you do build your own website there are plenty of places that will help you at very little cost. And hey, If you are an IT guy then your just miles ahead of the game.

What skills do I need?

Determination, persistence, and being a self-starter. Other skills such as the ability to write, organization, and creativity are also a big plus, but you can outsource those if necessary. I know how great it is to wake up and go to work for yourself because that is what I am doing after 24 years of teaching. I can safely say that if you try this business and never give up you to will be successful. I think that this is a tremendous opportunity for those seeking a career change after 40, or been forced to do a laid off carrer change or for those looking for career change options.

Don’t read this if you are satisfied with your career.

Paul Tooley is a lecturer, health lecturer, Education Currents raido show host and affiliate marketer. You can read his and Christian’s blog at http://chr-walker.blogspot.com/

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By James Tomerson

College students are always on the look out for part time jobs that are not only close to campus, but also pay them well. The student job search is a process that never stops and students keep on trying to find out some of the best part time jobs available on college campuses. Are you a student and looking for a good employment options too? Read on to know what part time jobs can prove to be the best for you, in terms of closeness from campus, pay and hours too.

Computer Lab Attendant or Tech Support Jobs
One of the best campus jobs options available for students is the computer lab attendants or tech support jobs. College and universities look for students that are tech savvy and can perform IT field related work. Not only these part time jobs pay students well, but these jobs also provide with some fantastic real world experience for college students who aspire to make their career in the IT field.

College Gym Jobs
Gyms at colleges also offer good part time student job opportunities. These college gyms have a regular demand for people who can serve at the counter, give out the gym equipments and look after other related work at the college gym. If you can also take aerobics classes and provide personal training to those attend the gym, you can really have a best part time job and look forward to get a higher pay.

College Library Jobs
Most of the students overlook the job opportunities available at the college library. Students may think that part time library jobs are just about checking out and handing books. In fact library part time job responsibilities also include management of interlibrary loans, library search system data entry and other clerical tasks. However, student part time jobs at college libraries offer nice and comfortable environment.

House sitting/ Housecleaning/ Babysitting Jobs for Professors
The college campus has a number of professors who need these services for their kids and pets. While working for college professors, students do not only get well paid but they receive appreciation from professionals as well. This professional acquaintance can also result in profitable business and best job opportunities.

Dorm Desk Attendant Jobs
Though many students may not realize, the dorm desk attendant job is one of the best part-time jobs available on the college campus. This is one of those college student jobs where working hours will not be excessive. In fact things can have a pretty slower pace. Along with good pay, the job also brings students security responsibilities.

Academic Department Clerical Work
There is extensive work load in college academic departments. In order to help secretaries with the large amount of work, departments usually hire students for part-time work. Class handouts, journal articles, journal submissions, faculty meeting notes, conferences – there is a lot of work for students to handle and help department secretaries with.

There are multiple part time job opportunities available for college students. You may come across jobs that do not pay well. College students need to do some research and they can easily land some of the best parttime student jobs opportunities in college libraries, academic departments, technology, gym, dorm desk etc. In addition, students can also talk to professors about part time job opportunities to look after their kids, pets, home etc.

Read another useful career article by James Tomerson to equip yourself with Entry Level Job Search Tips or take a Free Career Test now.

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By Corinne Stuart

Phone interviews are increasingly being used by recruiters and time pressed employers as a way of distinguishing between candidates without the need for a time consuming face to face interview.

There are a number of things you can do to improve your chances of getting to that face to face interview.

Silence is golden

Make sure that when conducting the phone interview you have peace and quiet. You will not be at your best if the dog is barking and the kids are screaming. It’s distracting for you, irritating to the interviewer and unlikely to get you through to the next round.

Land line not mobile

A clear land line is preferable to a poor signal from a mobile. No one wants to get cut off halfway through an interview.
Print out your CV and the Job Description

And have them in front of you before you start. The key words and phrases that will get you through are contained in the Job Description. Your task is to match those requirements with the skills and experience contained within your CV. Clearly communicate the benefits you can bring to the job and how the successes you have achieved can be brought to this role. If you haven’t held the job title before but have the skills and experience required for the position, you will need to clearly communicate those with examples from your CV.

Is the Interviewer qualified?

Is this someone just ticking the boxes on the sheet in front of them or is this the hiring authority? The way you structure your answers may change depending on who the person is you are talking to. Becoming too technical may go straight over their head.

Establish what the next step is in the process

Where do you go from here? What is the next step and within what time frame?

Once again state your fit for the job and how much you are interested in the role.

Corinne Stuart is the founder of The Confidence Hub at http://www.theconfidencehub.co.uk a UK based website dedicated to helping you return to work in today’s tough job market.

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By Corinne Stuart

Psychometric or personality tests are used by some employers to gauge whether you have the right sort of personality traits for a particular job.

Employers spend a lot of resources both in people time and money searching for the right candidate and this is one way in which they can assess, or justify depending on your point of view, candidate choice.

Testing tends to be used in larger organisations as they are the ones who can afford the programmes but some placement firms use them as well. Are they the resort of those who are terrified of recruiting mistakes and need a guide to whittle down candidate numbers, or those that believe they result in better qualified candidates who stay in the job longer? Probably a bit of both.

What form do the tests take?

There will be a number of multiple choice questions that require answering within a specific time. You are asked to answer them instinctively, in the order they are asked, without returning to any questions.
How should you deal with the personality test and what are the right answers?

The answer is that there are no right answers.

The employer has predetermined which personality traits and strengths he or she is looking for and the test has been structured around those.

You can get an idea of what the employer is looking for from the job description and you could attempt to second guess the answers, but the questions are usually phrased in such a way, and the answers for you to choose from so similar, that it is almost impossible to do that. And who is to say that your attempts to beat the tests wont result in the “wrong” answers coming back and your rejection on those grounds?

By far the best option is to answer honestly. This may be a job that you really want but if the employer feels that as a result of the test you are not suited there isn’t a lot you can do about it.

You do have a right to see the test results which may give you some insight into why you were not successful. This may be useful in itself. If you’re going for jobs that require a high degree of independent working but really you feel more comfortable in a team then perhaps it’s time to give your job search a rethink.

Corinne Stuart is the founder of The Confidence Hub at http://www.theconfidencehub.co.uk a UK based website dedicated to helping you return to work in today’s tough job market.

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By Corinne Stuart

There are some big no-no’s when it comes to interview questions.

“I don’t know anything about your business.”

If you haven’t bothered to do any research before the interview why on earth should they waste their time with you? Of course you can’t know everything there is to know about the company but with so much information now out there on the internet there is no excuse for ignorance.

“I hated my last job”

Or even worse, “I hated my last boss/line manager/work colleagues”. That will simply say to the interviewer that you find it difficult to fit into a team or work structure or that you are a difficult person to work with. Even if the statement is true, don’t say it and instead focus on the positives of your last role.

“I can’t think of anything to ask you”

Do your homework properly and there will always be something you can ask even if a number of your prepared questions have been answered within the interview.

And following on from the last no-no

“How soon can I take holiday?”
“How many sick days do you allow?”
” And that **** she ****!”

Do not swear under any circumstances. If the person sitting opposite is turning the air blue, don’t join in. It may also be worth considering whether you’re in the right place!

Don’t get on your soapbox!

Don’t give the interviewer the benefit of your opinions. You don’t know who you’re talking to and not only may they not share your strongly expressed views but they may take a completely opposite view to you.

Don’t bad mouth anyone

For all you know that may be your interviewers best friend.

Corinne Stuart is the founder of The Confidence Hub at http://www.theconfidencehub.co.uk a UK based website dedicated to helping you return to work in today’s tough job market.

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